Excuse me?

Excuse me: verb (used with object) 1. A phrase I say when trying to simultaneously camouflage my feeling of great disgust, while keeping my life rated G

“I will carry duct tape in my purse.” That’s what I used to tell myself in college. Because unless you wore knee-length skirts with almost-knee-length socks and a pair of boots, saying what you thought was not popular.



Yes, this was the style at my college! Tacky? Yes.



But now, I have found a phrase to say while I 1.) bite my tongue, and 2.) frantically think up something witty and still honest.

So that’s what I said yesterday when a certain lady at my work asked me, “So where are you looking for work?”

First of all, this lady (the guilty will remain nameless) hasn’t said “boo” to me since last Halloween. Secondly, her daughter was never friendly to me, either.

So where does she think she has the right to ask such a pointed question? Maybe I had the right to snarl back a colorful retort.

Me: “Excuse me?”

“So where are you looking for work? I heard that you were looking for work somewhere else?”

“Well, I guess I’m open to other things. But I’m happy here.” Pause. “Who did you hear that from?”

“Oh, well, me and someone else were talking.” This, she glossed over like it was no big deal. Then, “We just figured that if you wanted to stay here, you’d have your own class.”

Ouch. Was that an intentional dig?

I should have said “excuse me” again. But instead, I said, “Oh, well, I’m happy with what I’m doing here, now.”

Then, she digressed into a series of mumbles and "you knows". . .

Ugh. I probably sounded like a skipping CD, “I’m happy here—I’m happy here.”

But I am. And I didn’t feel like stooping down, and allowing myself to be pushed into the Corner of Depression again—especially by someone who has no place in my life otherwise.

I’ve had enough of people pushing me around. I’ve had enough of being pushed around, then crying or lashing out with tears and emotional words. I’ve taken control through a phrase. It helps me calm down; it helps me think.

So what about you? What phrase have you adopted to color (and simply?) your life?